5/9 - God is .......

What word would you use to fill in the blank for the Title of this blog. God is .....
A week ago I would have said God is absent or not listening. Despite my prayers, it seems that my health has continued to decline and we have yet to get any answers. In fact, on Monday, I spent half the day in the ER because my abdomen was so painful, swollen, and hard and it hurt to move. It also felt like I just stuffed my face when I had not. After suffering through a month with severe and often re-occuring migraines (which medicine did not relieve) and ulcerative colitis becoming a huge problem, I thought I was due for a break. Well, a horrible month combined with 6-9 months of such severe fatigue (and no answers or explanations) which was preceded by almost back-to-back deployments with small children, one having special needs and the other requiring another set of tubes the day after daddy deployed, sub-par health for me since having the kids, and still trying to work some, life has been just hard. I've been feeling lately like God isn't hearing any of my prayers. I know that is not true and I can definitely see God's hand over our lives the last couple years but I still wonder, "God, why bless me with these children and then not even give me the energy to be able to take care of them?" God got me through 2 very difficult and problem-laden pregnancies, the first 2-3 yrs of both of the boys lives were filled with medical problems and now .... they are finally healthy and now I unable to take care of them because my body isn't functioning right. It just doesn't seem right. I had a friend I did gymnastics with and her mom was suffering from a serious medical condition and I always felt so bad for her because I felt like her life was so limited because her mom was so sick and it prevented her from doing so many things. I don't want to be that mom. So, I've really been bothered lately about our current situation and me so desperately wanting to be in a better state of health. So back to the ER, they took an x-ray and said it was fine. They did blood work and my liver enzymes were crazy high. They told me I just had a strained muscle in my stomach (darn cross-fit workouts) and to go see a gastrointestinal (GI) doctor. As you may recall, my sleep study needs to be re-done because they failed to take me (or tell me) to discontinue a medication that can significantly alter the results of the sleep study. My sleep study was scheduled for monday night. I made a call to my GI doctor and they could see me on Tuesday morning or Thursday morning. Tuesday morning I am supposed to be at the sleep clinic and I was planning on going to Florida to house hunt on Wed-Fri so that wouldn't work. My stomach has been so painful (which is why I was at the ER; well that and thanks to how the military system works - "we have no appointments but you might have internal bleeding so go to the ER"). My husband and I decided we should put off the sleep study and go to the GI dr because my stomach has been so bad that it's even affecting my sleep. Well, it gets more complicated. I've been off my ADHD meds now for a week so that it won't mess up the study and that has been challenging. I'm more tired (if that is possible) and don't get near as much work done because I can't focus. I went to the GI doctor and he changed my meds and we will re-assess in 2 weeks. Please pray these new meds work and bring me some relief.

OK. Back to God. Needless to say, I keep telling myself that any day now my health will start getting better and then this happens this week. I was so devastated and really doubting if God was hearing my pleas for better health. He blessed me with a family and now I can't even take care of them.

Brad and I did lots of on-line searching earlier this week for houses. I made a list (excel spreadsheet with columns for everything you can imagine) and then we finally narrowed it down the top 10. We made a Top 3 list and then I had the next 5 listings that we were interested in. There was 1 house that I found on military by owner 2 (the others were found on realtor.com) weeks ago and he wanted to see the pictures so I logged on. An awesome looking house popped up as the first listing and I had not seen it before. It turns out, this new listing was by Oakleaf (where we used to live and loved it). Based on the description given on-line and the pictures, it seemed like a great fit for our needs (my mother is moving in with us so we were looking for something with a guest suite). The problem? It was listed at $100 over what we have planned and decided on for a monthly rent. I really liked and somehow had the nerve to e-mail the owners and ask if they would consider taking $100. They said yes so I set up to see the house on Wed evening at 5:00pm and this was one of our top 3. I found a really nice realtor who was going to show me the properties on Thursday and I planned to sign papers for something and then leave for AL on Thursday morning. One of the other Top 3 houses was also on military by owner and I set up a time to see that place on Thursday late morning. It seemed like I had a good plan ... right?

Side note: The boys and I go to the library on Tuesday to get some new books and I wanted to get a book on CD so I wound't get bored and fall asleep on my drive. I never listened to the one I checked out before and returned so I was just gonna get that one. For some crazy reason (OK God-ordained event) I can't find it. I'm trying to quickly search because the library is about to close and I have both boys with me. I randomly see this Beth Moore Get out of that Pit book on tape. We are in Prattville, AL in the only library which happens to be fairly small considering what we are used to. Seems random they have this book on CD but I grab it. I like Beth Moore and there is no doubt I feel like I'm in a pit.

Well, 2 hours in to my 6.5 hour drive, I get a call from the realtor saying an emergency has come up and she is so sorry but cannot show me any places. Um. Should I just turn around? At this moment, I'm driving to Fl to see 2 houses if she can't help me. Oh my. God - what are you doing? This is a disaster. Part of me started to panic ... but part of me was at peace. I knew that God would find us a place to live but logically, it makes no sense to drive 7 hrs to see 2 houses and I should probably turn around.

With about 2 hours to spare, I insert the Beth Moore book on CD. Fabulous. It's speaking right to me. I'm trying to take notes as I drive (I don't recommend that). God is talking to me and telling me, "I hear you Amy but I'm still working on your journey. I haven't forgotten about you. Yes you have been through a lot but there is a purpose for it all." I know that .... but I needed to hear it the way Beth Moore presented it. I start realizing and thinking that maybe that is true - God hasn't forgotten about me. I need to regain my strength in Him.

I get in town and drive immediately to this house which is now within our budget although I'm about 10-15 minutes. I apologize and then quickly fall in love with this amazing and beautiful house. The more he shows it to me, the more I don't want to leave and the more I feel God patting me on the back and reminding me He will take care and provide for us. The owner probably thought I was crazy because I was diagraming the entire house out. I don't know why. I've never done that before. It was an amazing house. So perfect for our needs right now. Perfect! The entire time he is showing me the house I'm thinking how odd it is that you could take out that family and put my family in there and it seems many things would probably stay the same. This is the home to 3 little boys about the age of mine. He shows me the garage and I see the bikes and jogging stroller. I feel right at home! :) The owner shows me the entire house and seems so very nice. He's not rushing me out and letting me try to draw things on my paper. I am in love with this house. So I'm done viewing the house and am looking at my paper. He says, "do you have any questions?" Oh yeah. I was so distracted by being late (I don't like being late for appointments but I should have known trying to make an appt based on a 6.5 hr drive wasn't a great idea) and was so awe-struck from the awesome house that I didn't ask a question that I should have asked before even looking at the house. "Do you accept pets?" [Crickets, crickets ... look of wanting to say "no" on owners face ... my heart sinking...] We talked about it and left it that he would talk with his wife. I had such mixed feelings. I totally understand that as a homeowner, I despise renters who come in with animals and mess up the place. However, I am not that kind of homeowner or renter but there is no way that I can probably convince him of that and I understand (unfortunately for us). I just prayed as I drove away and then promptly called my husband to tell him about the awesome house I just saw that we probably can't rent.

As I am getting to Sue's house (where I am staying), I get a call from the owner of the house I just saw telling me he and his wife have discussed the pet issue [my heart was sinking because his voice was not sounding like the rest of his sentence would be words I wanted to hear] and they would be okay if we did a deposit. Amazing! I'm on cloud 9 but getting a massive migraine. I draw out floor plans on graph paper and take pictures and send them to Brad. I'm excited but Brad and I agree to see our other top 2 because they also seemed like a very good fit.

I saw the other 2 properties this morning. The one smelled of pet urine (see renters like that give renters like us a bad reputation) and had massive, massive carpet stains everywhere even though the carpets were professionally cleaned yesterday. God made that an easy decision. No to that house. Off to the other of our Top 3. Nice area. OK house. Sufficient but not perfect. It was a done deal. The house we saw last night is literally a perfect fit for us.

So how amazing is that. God ordained a series of events which, at first glance, seemed bad. I didn't need that real estate agent that I thought I did. Not only that, the people that we are going to rent from seem like fabulous people. The husband is the one who showed me the house. I got to meet the wife today while I was filling out the application and signing the lease. I wish they weren't moving kinda (although I LOVE their house) because I think our families would get along great. They seem to be great people and it makes the effort that Brad and I (and the boys) put into being good renters seem more important. I don't know how to explain it. We take very good care of the houses we live in whether it is ours or not. We believe in treating everything, whether it's ours or not, with respect and care and I guess it's kind of neat to finally have someone that can appreciate that.

God is so good. He does take care of His children and this was a great experience to see and feel that again. I need to get back to grading since this is the last week of classes for my students. I'm excited for the summer break of teaching and SUPER excited about our new place to call home. I'll write more about the house later but the experience to be able to call it our house for 2 years has been amazing.

4/15 - The past week

I left last weekend on Friday and drove down to Florida to attend the Alumni Gymnastics Reunion and also watch the Regional Meet which Florida hosted. It was a fast trip but fun trip. Here is a group shot of most of us. The picture is a little blurry. I'm in the bottom row, third in from the left. Quite a few of my teammates showed up which was great. It was fun visiting with them.

 I left a package at home for the boys and it was the giant floor dinosaur puzzle. Brad sent me a picture of it once Aiden put it all together.

Here is a picture that Brad sent me on Saturday night. The boys went to McDonalds for dinner and Aiden was a little distracted and was cleaning the slide!!! 

While in Florida, I stopped at Jacksonville on Friday night and stayed with my friend Sue. It's always great to see her. She sent back a few goodies for the boys. I drove back to Alabama on Sunday morning and made it home right after the boys went down for naps. When they woke up I got some massive hugs and then showed them what Mrs. Sue gave them. These are small tennis racquets (kid size I guess). The boys had a blast. Eli is actually pretty darn good. Aiden does a great job making contact as well but he gets discouraged quite easy. Eli was a champ and kept practicing and made a few pretty good hits. 


Sue also gave us a small basketball hoop. It's actually a pretty big one but it can adjust to be short. The boys enjoyed playing with that too. She even gave us a basketball which is smaller than normal. We have lots of outside stuff to keep us active outside now. :)

Sue

One of the other goodies Sue gave us was the Hallaballo game. I've been wanting to get it and she said she had it and didn't use it anymore so she passed it down to me. Aiden was having a blast doing it. You put all these discs with pictures down on the floor and turn on this machine and it tells you what to do. "Twirl to a red pad" or "hop to triangle."We played it as a family quite a few times.
 
The boys took pictures at daycare a few weeks ago. It was an old-time theme and I finally got to see the pictures that were taken. They turned out so cute. Here are just 3 of them. Eli looked so stinkin' cute in all of his pictures. I just love his fishing one below and how his little toes are curled up. Aiden liked the one of him with the gun (rather than fishing pole) and it also had a slightly-less-forced-smile than the other one too so that's the one I got of him.

The boys are doing such a good job at becoming more independent. They have toothbrush timers and know that they have to keep brushing until the go off. Here is little Eli getting ready for bed. It cracks me up that he doesn't actually like to us his light-up timer toothbrush to brush; he just wants to use the timer function on it and use another brush to clean his teeth. Aiden is NOT a fan of timer although I'm not sure why because he likes concrete rules and such.

We got 2 new games this week. I've been researching games to get and finally figured out what I wanted. One of them is called 'Hiss' and Aiden is playing it to the left. It's a fun game where you get to make snakes using colors. He is in love with this game and Brad and I have both played it at least a half dozen times in just a few days.

The other game that I got is called Sneaky Snacky Squirrel. It's a game that Eli can play and works on color matching, motor control, sharing, and taking turns. He is at a tough age because he's just starting to realize that he has to follow the rules for the games. He would rather just take the pieces of the game and mess around with them and use his other toys to store them in. He eventually defaults back to Mr. Potato Head. He LOVES that toy and has decided that he will have a Mr. Potato Head birthday party. I think that could be lots of fun. Aiden has chosen a dinosaur theme this year for his birthday. Back to Eli, here is a picture of one of his latest creation. He said this was an a "sad crazy" Mr. Potato Head." 

I've recently realized that I don't really have any short/short-sleeve PJ's for Eli. I guess Aiden just skipped a size. I recently had to get Aiden new PJ's because he outgrew (for his comfort level) his 4T jammies that are supposed to fit snuggly. Here are a pair of his new pj's which I just LOVE. 

We went to IHOP on Friday night for dinner. The boys love this place and they especially love the music that plays out by the front door. We got there and they just started dancing for a while and all the people inside were laughing. It was too funny. Once we were done eating, we let the boys dance for a while. Here is a video of their dancing skills. They crack me up. The each had their own bench which they called their stages. I have no idea where Aiden has gotten some of his dance skills. They are very unique. 

On Saturday, we went to Pratt Park (castle park) in the afternoon. The boys wanted to show daddy a new path we discovered the last time I took them there. Eli headed straight for the water of course and started throwing rocks. After we explored for a while, Eli and I headed back up towards the playground and Aiden and Brad stayed down in the new area and continued to explore. Little Aiden could walk all day exploring and be perfectly happy. One day he and Papa are gonna have a great time walking around on dad's property and Aiden will ask Papa a million questions (and Papa will have the answer to all of them probably).

Eli had fun back on the playground. We played race cars for a bit. Here is Eli working on the track (it's a finger maze) and while he did that, I ran around to the other area of the playground and then ran back. This is a great method to get the boys some exercise :) Aiden and Brad finally wandered over to the entrance but then saw some other kids playing in the canal. Aiden said he wanted to go down in the water and Brad told him that was fine but he had to take his shoes and socks off. Well, that didn't go so well. Aiden said he wanted to wear his shoes and socks in the water. It was pretty gross water so I'm glad Aiden didn't really get in.

Sunday was picture day at church. We all went to sunday school and then church. Once we got home, we had lunch and played for a bit before rest time. The boys had on cute matching outfits on sunday. They are so precious.

Eli takes a while to wake-up sometimes and he decided he would curl up and cuddle with me while he was trying to wake up. I know this won't last forever and soak up every minute of the cuddle time. Eli is turning in to such a caring little boy. If ever I ask him to pray for me, he will and it's so cute. Brad's back has been bothering him and I've prayed for it with the boys before and then Eli will just randomly asked Brad "how is your back daddy?" He has started to melt my heart with a new saying he has picked up somewhere. He'll ask for help with something and I'll help him and then he responds with "it's good to have a friend like you." It makes me smile every time. 

10/23 - While mommy was away ...

It's been a crazy week. Here a picture that Brad took of us last week making a silly face as Aiden calls it.

Last Wednesday morning (very early) I drove to Birmingham to catch a plane to Tampa to see my mom. It was a quick, but productive visit. Here is a picture of us on the day I got there.

Mrs. Jennifer, Aiden's teacher, was nice enough to send me a picture of my boys that afternoon. I have a picture where Aiden's eyes are open but Eli's smile is too darn cute here so I have to use this one. 

On Thursday, I sent this picture to Mrs. Jennifer and asked her to show it to the boys. They told her about Bronco. It was good to see Bronco again. Him and Nana are getting along really well and it's a great relationship. He gets her outside to socialize and walk; two very important things that are healthy.  I got to Skype with the boys on Thursday night for a few minutes. It was good but Aiden was so sad and wanted to "cuddle" with me. My heart was breaking for him but daddy tried to comfort him and snuggle with him.

I was busy getting mom organized with the office and medical stuff. We met with an insurance agent and I was on the phone quite a bit with SHINE (the Florida assistance program for the elderly with insurance-related questions). She is not considered elderly but because she is on disability, she qualifies. They gave us some good ideas to help us find the right insurance plan for her given her medical conditions. On Friday afternoon, I got to see my dad. He came and picked me up and took me to lunch out at the Pier. I haven't been down there in ages. We had a yummy lunch although I was struggling to stay awake. I hadn't slept in a few nights and was beyond exhausted. The Pier is getting demolished in May 2013 so I'm not sure I'll be able to take the boys there and show it to them. They would have liked it.

Here is a picture that Mrs. Jennifer sent me on Friday. I sent her a picture of me holding a wind-up alligator and Aiden saw what it was and got excited. He said he had an alligator on his shirt too.

On Friday, Brad picked the boys up early from daycare and took them to Bass Pro Shop with 2 other daddy's and their kids. It sounded like they all had lots of fun. Here are some pictures that Brad sent to me. Of course they had to go check the boats out:

Here they are trying out different chairs. I love the little tiny chairs and would love to get the boys one someday.

Here they are in the tents and Aiden is reading to Eli. I am so so so so so blessed to have such an awesome husband who can do such a great job taking care of the boys.

I got lots of stuff done while at my mom's. She will be moving this summer to Jacksonville to live with us or near us (we aren't sure of all the details yet). I came home on Saturday morning and by the time I drove 1hr+ from the airport, got home around 10:45am. It was so great to see the boys. We played until lunch time and then got up after naps and played some more. That night, we went to Zoo Boo. I'll post pictures tomorrow or later today about that. Also, hats off to an awesome husband who helped with Cubbies on Sunday night. We were down one leader and needed another adult so I asked him and he didn't bat an eye. He had schoolwork to catch up on too and still came to help out. What a blessing to me and those Cubbies he was.

Here are two final pictures. Brad took these last night after he picked up the boys from daycare. Aiden has full pads on for his skateboarding experience! He's so safe.

Both of our boys could spend an hour playing with the air pump. It's an air pump ... it cracks me up how they think it's the coolest thing around.

I was late getting home yesterday because I had to return to the GI doctor and get the results of my colonoscopy and biopsy. The good news: no cancer. The bad news: I have ulcerative colitis, a chronic irritable bowel disease (not to be confused with irritable bowl  syndrome). It's an autoimmune disease and will probably never go away. I have to start taking a medicine 4 times a day and then hopefully can move to taking 2 pills 2 times a day. I cannot even entertain stopping the medicine until I go at least 5 YEARS without any symptoms. That's a long time!! I'm sad but hopeful to get this under control so I can start feeling better. I felt fine for 2.5 weeks after the procedure while I was taking a different medicine the doctor gave me, but as soon as I stopped it, my symptoms came right back.

I'll be updating again soon with pictures from Boo Zoo and Aiden's therapy session today. Have a great week.