10/5 - God

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Although I missed sunday school 2 weeks since I was in the hospital, I learned that the challenge we were given was to use social media to talk to people about God. Some of you may be rolling your eyes and are about to click the the screen closed BUT .... I love homework so here is my contribution.

I was raised respecting God. My freshman year in college I re-dedicated myself to follow Him. Apparently Satan laughed at me because 1.5 yr after doing that, my life completely changed. I was begging God everyday to help me and give me strength and everyday was feeling I was one step farther away from being loved by God. For years, I was miserable (it may not have appeared that way to many) but He kept me alive. I eventually gave up hope that God was there and would ever answer any prayers so I just stopped praying.

When Brad and I moved to MD 4 years ago, we started attending church. It was good. We really wanted to raise our family in the church. I loved our church and the relationships I had with people within the church were much better than I had every experienced before. I started praying again but assumed my prayers would fall on deaf ears. I was doing the "things" that I should be to convey I was a christian but my heart was still very scarred from my experience in college.

We moved to Florida last year and God ordained a friendship that would forever change my life. For the first time, I understood that God didn't leave me and abandon me like I thought, but that the idols I was worshipping were consuming me and I failed to realize God was actually still there, just waiting for me to turn to Him. Wow. This thought has turned my world of God upside down. God has had my number on speed dial for the past few months and I am often scared to pick up the phone when He calls. He is challenging me everyday within the various studies I am involved in (Bible Study Fellowship, Sunday school, and the study of Not A Fan (awesome book)). Here is what I know:
1. I don't know God and His love the way I want
2. I've had lots of experiences in my life that I wonder why they have happened
3. I know that God is working on my heart and wants to change it; I just have to let Him (very scary)
4. God is going to use my past experiences for Him. Not today, probably not tomorrow, but when God has prepared me for it, I know it will be amazing and I am excited

The Not A Fan study I am doing asked me last week to sign over all my possession, skills, and identities to God. Can you do that? If you gave your house and car away and all the things you think you know, would you be okay? It's one thing to think we trust God and that He is in control but it's another to BELIEVE it. I don't want to be a fan of God; I want to be a follower. What's the difference? Commitment!